Monday, 4 April 2016

Reality Check

Time for a reality check in the social media world of clean empty work spaces, clothes that get sewn in half a day and still seem to fit perfectly and quilts that go from cut pieces to finished bound masterpiece in under six months.  


Much of my time when not doing usual day time work and parent/family stuff is currently being spent supporting a relative who is suffering with dementia.  I am sure many of you have being through this and know what a difficult place it is to be for all involved.   It's not an issue that can be quickly solved; it is an ongoing, ever-changing situation with constant challenges.  I'll still be posting my weekly Farmer's Wife 1930s quilt-along posts along with my monthly nine-patch sponsor selection but anything else may be a bonus.  I don't especially like to live my life beyond the sewing machine on Instagram, blog, Facebook etc. so this is just by way of explanation.  I'll still be here -  sewing keeps my mental state on the straight and narrow and is a place where I don't have to think about medications, mental health teams and what I can do next for someone who is obviously suffering.  But, if you've emailed me and I haven't got back to you, it may be that it got swamped in other emails and you'll need to get in touch again.

sib blog

25 comments:

  1. Have you found the book helpful? My MIL has dementia and we are the only support. I have mentioned it to her doctor but he just dismissed it. It's almost as if being 87 is a reason not to give her appropriate care.

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  2. Courage to you Kerry. I'm dreading this in the probably not too distant future and as an only child it scares the hell out of me. I hope you have plenty of support for you. X

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  3. Will be thinking of you.i hope that your family member can get help. Please take care of yourself as well. xo Erin

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  4. Thinking of you!
    Life has already blown me out of the regular rhythm of the FW1930QA quite a while ago, but sewing keeps playing an essential role in keeping me up on the sunny side most of the time.
    Take good care of yourself!
    Anneliese

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  5. Hi Kerry. My mum has quite advanced dementia now, but I found this little charity (and their resources) to be incredibly helpful: http://www.contenteddementiatrust.org
    I understand what you're saying and send you every good wish. Claire x

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    1. Thankyou very much, I’m going to have a look!

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    2. My grandfather too. I read the book 'Contented Dementia' (Oliver James) and loved it, although it's been difficult to get the rest of the family on board - even so I'm able to use some of the techniques when I see my grandad. Not asking questions makes a HUGE difference!

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    3. Thankyou Nina, it looks like a really interesting approach

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  6. Sending love and hugs. My grandma had it and it was heartbreaking. I can't offer any practical advice but I'm thinking of you xxx

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  7. Dealing with similar long distance with my mother. Really hard. Good luck!

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  8. Oh I am so sorry. I know helping with our aging family is tough, emotionally and physically. xo

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  9. Love to you and your family <3 xoxo

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  10. My mother has dementia, I get frustrated with myself when my patience runs out and I get upset - I just keep reminding myself that her mind is not right. So very hard. Sending you and anyone dealing with it strength to endure.

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    1. It is so cruel. Patience is needed in infinite quantities.

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  11. We went through dementia with Mum, who died 2 yrs ago. I was an awful time for all of us. Especially her - during her very occasional bouts of lucidity.
    You will get through this period in you life but you know that when you come out the other end there will be someone missing. Its hard but we do it for love.
    Sending hugs, you are not alone.

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  12. My thoughts and prayers and with you. You are doing the important work - nothing is more important than family. I hope you make time for sewing - I know it makes me feel better : ) xo Charise

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  13. (((((Hugs))))) My first job when I was 16 was as a care assistant in a nursing home and I saw how truly devastating dementia can be.

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  14. My mother has dementia and the last 6 months have been very hard. Although you know it's the disease process it's very hard not to loose your cool, when you've heard the same thing again and again. My mother speaks in loops, I could recite them all verbatim. Sadly,the person she was has gone.

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  15. My parents were "older" when I was born. So at the age of 41 I had the responsibility of overseeing my Mother who developed Alzheimers - this was in 1986. No one understood the disease. My Father had taken care of her for 3 years before he became unglued and I had to become her Guardian. She lasted 10 years and it was a long good bye and horrible to deal with. So many families think they can really handle this at home, but it is so difficult. My thoughts and prayers go out to you or for that matter anyone who has a family member with either Dementia or Alzheimer. I try to stay extremely active with my quilting in retirement and doing other things. I am hoping it misses me. I always tell hubby if I do begin to develop it put me in the RV, slide a meal or to in the door and do not visit! Cold, but true. For the Running Hare - your comment speaks volumes and the truth.

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  16. Oh, do know what it's like taking care of someone. My Dad had a fall at 93 and after that he wasn't quite the same. I was lucky enough to take care of him until he died at 96 and I'm very grateful for that time. It was exhausting and wonderful all at once. I don't think I slept very much during that time and everything else sort of took a back seat to him. There's more to the story, but I'll leave that for another time.
    I love that you shared a bit of your life with honesty. Thank you.

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  17. I see, Kerry. Be kind to yourself, too. It is so good we have our sewing to keep us connected to ourselves and our friends. I'm sorry for the stress and despair this disease brings to the loved ones of sufferers. Much love to you.

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  18. Thinking of you, Kerry, and wishing you strength, peace, and support during what must be a very challenging time.

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